The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Michigan be throwin’ treasure like a drunken sailor to woo the finest lad from LSU! Aye, eight-figure booty!

2024-11-14

Arrr, in the year o' our Lord 2025, the scallywag Bryce Underwood be lookin' at a treasure o' $10.5 million from the Michigan Wolverines, who be throwin' doubloons like a drunken sailor to lure him from the clutches o' them LSU sea dogs! Aye, what a jolly bounty!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather ‘round as I spins the yarn of the fabled Michigan Wolverines, who be eyein’ the illustrious Bryce Underwood, a strappin’ lad of 6-foot-3, weighin’ near as much as a barrel o’ rum at 205 pounds! This young scallywag be the finest recruit in all the land, but he be currently pledged to the LSU Tigers. Aye, but the Wolverines be throwin’ a treasure chest of $10.5 million in NIL doubloons over four years to lure this lad to their shores in Ann Arbor.

Underwood be raisin’ eyebrows with his prowess on the field, tossin’ 69 touchdowns and dashin’ for 10 more in the last two seasons! He’s made his verbal commitment to the Tigers, yet the winds of change be blowin’ strong, and Michigan be hopin’ to sway him before he signs his letter of intent. LSU, not be sittin’ idle, be expressin’ their hope with an Instagram tale, sportin’ a No. 2 pendant that speaks volumes.

As the tides of recruitment shift, we waits with bated breath, for next month we shall learn if Underwood charts his course to the Big House or stays loyal to his original crew. Aye, it be a merry time indeed in the realm of college football!

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