The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! The Senate be scuttlin' Trump’s pick o’ Gaetz fer attorney general, says ol’ McCarthy, the ex-captain o’ the crew!

2024-11-14

Arrr, me hearties! Former Speaker McCarthy be foretellin’ that Trump’s matey Gaetz won’t be passin’ the Senate’s muster come next year. “Aye, all know Gaetz be as welcome as a sea serpent at a tea party!” he quipped, spillin’ the beans from far-off Singapore! Aye, what a jest!

Ahoy, me hearties! Gather ‘round as I spin ye a yarn of political folly on the high seas o’ Capitol Hill! Former House Speaker, that scallywag Kevin McCarthy, be predictin’ a storm brewin’ fer the good ol’ Florida matey, Matt Gaetz. Aye, ye see, Trump be namin’ Gaetz as the new captain o’ the Justice ship, but McCarthy be sayin’ the Republican Senate won’t let him hoist the Jolly Roger on that post!

“Nay, Gaetz won’t be settin’ sail fer them waters,” McCarthy declared, soundin’ like a parrot squawkin’ on a shoulder of discontent. In a chat at the Barclays Asia Forum in Singapore, he laid it out plain as a treasure map—every sailor in the Senate knows they won’t confirm Gaetz, savvy? Just hours after Trump threw Gaetz into the fray, the lad resigned from the House quicker than a shark can sniff blood in the water!

So, there ye have it, mateys! A tale of ambition dashed on the shores of political reality, where the winds of approval be blowin’ against our hapless Gaetz. Arrr, ‘tis a right merry mess in the seas of the Senate! Let’s raise a mug o’ grog to the chaos that be awaitin’! Yarrr!

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