The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Avast! A holy man got shivved in the mug mid-sermon, as religious scallywags be plundering kindness everywhere!

2024-11-15

Arrr, matey! A holy man got a poke to the mug whilst sayin’ his prayers, just o’ the latest mischief in the realm of faith-fueled shenanigans! Seems the scallywags be targetin’ the Jews the most, makin’ ‘em the prime fish in these troubled waters! Avast!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round, fer a tale of trouble brewin' on the high seas of faith! 'Tis a dark tide that sees priests bein' attacked across the globe. In Singapore, Father Christopher Lee found himself with a knife in the face whilst handin' out Holy Communion. Talk about a holy rollin' gone wrong!

That scallywag Basnayake Keith Spencer, armed with a blade sharper than a sailor's tongue, now faces the court's wrath, while Father Lee be on the mend from his lacerations. But beware, ye landlubbers; this be no isolated incident! In Valencia, Spain, a bloke claimed to be Jesus and attacked three poor friars, one of whom, alas, shuffled off this mortal coil posthaste.

And what of Poland? Aye, Father Lech Lachowicz met a grim fate at the hands of an axe-wieldin’ rogue! These assaults be part of a wicked trend, with hate crimes against various faiths on the rise. From the U.S. to Europe, the seas be churnin' with intolerance, rattlin' the bones of even the most devout. Aye, as the winds of hate blow stronger, may the good sailors of faith find strength and humor to weather this storm!

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