The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Micah Parsons be laughin' at them Giants for lettin' Saquon slip through their grubby fingers, savvy?

2024-11-15

Arrr, matey! The Cowboys' scallywag be jabberin’ that the Giants be fools fer lettin’ their star runner sail away this season! And he be reckonin’ that ol’ quarterback Daniel Jones be worth less than a barrel o’ bilge water! Har har har!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn of the great Saquon Barkley, the swashbucklin' runner who be makin' quite the waves in the NFL seas! This past Thursday, he sailed against the Washington Commanders, usin’ his cunning and speed to amass a bountiful 146 yards on the ground and snatchin’ two catches for another 52 yards, savvy? With but 20 ticks left on the clock, he be plunderin’ two touchdowns, helpin' the Philadelphia Eagles claim victory, hoistin' their record to a fine 8-2 while the Commanders found themselves adrift at 7-4.

Once a fearsome Giant, he now be leadin' all ye landlubbers in rushing yards with a hefty 1,137! Aye, this be his fourth voyage with over 140 yards. As fortune would have it, he left the Giants in search of treasure, signin’ with the rival Eagles after a squabble over a contract, and behold, he be a key player in their grand success!

Even Micah Parsons o' the Cowboys be spoutin' wisdom, claimin’ the Giants be fools to let Saquon slip away. “They almost had us thinkin' he weren't no good!” he bellowed. So raise yer tankards to Saquon, the pirate of the gridiron, who be showin’ all that he still be a force to reckon with! Arrr!

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