The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Mike Tyson claims he dodged the scurvy bug, even after sharin' the sheets with a lass who met her doom!

2024-11-15

Arrr, me hearties! Mike Tyson be spillin’ the beans to Interview Magazine, claimin’ he and a mate shared a fair lass. But alas, both the mate and the wench met Davy Jones, while Tyson be sailin’ on, untouched by the scourge! Talk about luck o’ the draw, aye!

Arrr, gather ‘round me hearties, fer I be tellin’ ye a tale of the infamous Mike Tyson, a scallywag who thinks he should’ve been keelhaulin’ with the fishes long ago! Aye, not fer the punches he took, but 'cause he nearly met Davy Jones after a wild rendezvous with a lass that left two of his mates bitin’ the dust from the dreaded scourge known as AIDS. Tyson, now aged a spry 58, be wonderin' how he still breathes the salty air!

In a yarn spun to Interview Magazine, he be sayin’, “Life ain’t over yet,” and that he be blessed—or cursed, depending on how ye look at it—with a spirit hoverin’ by. ‘Tis a curious thing, indeed! He’s a man who don’t care a fig about legacy, claimin’ it be naught but a conceited notion. “What do I care about my legacy?” he bellowed, “I’ll be dead soon enough!”

With a past as colorful as a parrot’s feathers, Tyson once had groupies stashed ‘round like cannonballs before a fight! His bodyguard, Rudy, be spillin’ the beans on how Tyson needed his “booty call” fix to keep his fury in check. And though he be a fierce fighter, he’s also had his share of troubles, includin’ a time in the brig for a nasty deed. Aye, such be the life of a pirate in the ring!

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