The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Trump be tossin' the grog with his wild crew o' Cabinet mates! Avast, me hearties, what a ruckus!

2024-11-16

Arrr, mateys! The new captain’s crew be a ragtag lot! Fer Attorney General, we’ve got Rep. Gaetz, a scallywag in hot water! Fer Defense, it’s Pete, a weekend news parrot! And fer intel, Tulsi, a lass who’s switched her colors! What a motley bunch on this ship of fools!

Avast ye scallywags! Gather ‘round, fer I be spin’n a yarn ‘bout the most curious crew to sail the ship o’ state under Cap’n Donald Trump, the president-elect himself. Aye, his choices be more outlandish than a parrot wearin’ a tricorn hat!

First up, fer the post o’ Attorney General, we’ve got Rep. Matt Gaetz, a right-wing firebrand, caught in the midst o’ a storm with the House Ethics Committee, investigatin’ him fer some rather scandalous shenanigans! Aye, that be a fine catch, eh?

Next, the position o’ Secretary o’ Defense be goin’ to Pete Hegseth, a weekend jester on Fox News, who once donned the uniform o’ the Army National Guard. One wonders if he’ll be fightin’ with a keyboard or a cutlass!

And let’s not forget the Director o’ National Intelligence—none other than Tulsi Gabbard, the former Democratic lass, who’s spouted a fair bit of randomness in her day. Aye, one might say she’s as unpredictable as the weather at sea!

So, hoist the sails and prepare fer a wild ride on this wacky voyage, fer it seems the high seas o’ politics be more treacherous than ever! Yarrr!

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