Arrr! Speaker Johnson be a wary matey, sayin' lettin' loose Gaetz's report be like crackin' open a cursed treasure chest!
2024-11-17
Arrr, ye scallywags! House Speaker Mike Johnson be sayin' that lettin' loose the report on Matt Gaetz after he’s jumped ship be akin to crackin' open a cursed chest! Aye, it’ll unleash a storm o' trouble no fine captain be wantin’ to face!
Arrr, ye scallywags! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout House Speaker Mike Johnson, who be speakin' on the matter of Rep. Matt Gaetz, a wayward soul from Florida! In a recent parley on "Fox News Sunday," Johnson, a fine lad from Louisiana, voiced his trepidation 'bout lettin' loose the House Ethics Committee's report on Gaetz, who be swimmin' with trouble after resignin' from Congress like a ship in a storm. "Releasin' that report be like openin' a Pandora's box!" he bellowed, fearin' it might unleash chaos upon the seas of politics.When asked if he knew what dark secrets lay within the report, Johnson claimed ignorance, sayin', "The rules be bindin', matey!" He warned that such reports should only concern those still aboard the ship of Congress, lest it breach the sacred code and lead to treacherous waters. Meanwhile, young Gaetz be accused of frolickin' with a lass of just 17 summers, but he be denyin' the allegations faster than a fish can swim!
As the winds of scandal blow, the Senate be eyein' the matter closely, with some sayin' they want to see the cursed report. So grab yer grog and keep yer eyes peeled, for the tides of politics be changin' like the fickle seas! Arrr!