The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, Shawne Merriman be sayin’ Netflix can’t escape the storm o’ troubles for NFL games, savvy?

2024-11-18

Arrr, me hearties! Former NFL swashbuckler Shawne Merriman be givin’ his two doubloons ‘bout the grand muck-up Netflix faced whilst streamin’ the ruckus ‘twixt Jake Paul and Mike Tyson! Aye, it be a spectacle fit fer Davy Jones himself!

Ahoy, mateys! It be none other than the former NFL swashbuckler, Shawne Merriman, who found himself a-watchin’ the grand spectacle of Jake Paul’s win over the legendary Mike Tyson on the Netflix seas, alongside a rabble of 60 million souls! Aye, but alas, the production quality be as shaky as a ship in a storm, with the dreaded buffering curses plaguin’ many poor sots at eight bells! Tales of odd cutaways and Tyson’s bare backside were the talk of the tavern!

Merriman, a captain of his own sports vessel, Lights Out Xtreme Fighting, knew the ropes of live productions better than most. He warned that if Netflix be makin’ a mess of the NFL broadcasts on Christmas Day, the wrath of the footballing seas would be upon them! With over 85,000 scallywags complainin’, he declared, “Ye can’t be botching the NFL, for their brand be as mighty as a Kraken!”

With all hands on deck, he be sayin’ there should be backups aplenty, lest a calamity strike! Merriman be reckonin’ that Netflix needs a crew seasoned in the art of live sports, or they’ll find themselves walking the plank! But fret not, for he believes they’ll get it right, and it could change how the world enjoys the grand NFL treasure! So, hoist the sails, Netflix, and may yer production quality soar like a ship in full sail!

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