The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Starbound be sportin' a wee update after five long years—so tiny, it be like a ship's mouse!

2024-11-19

"Avast, me hearty! Rouse me from me slumber when a bonafide patch be comin’ aboard! Until then, let me snooze in me rum-soaked dreams, for this be but a landlubber's tale!"

Arrr, me hearties! Gather 'round, fer I be havin' a tale of woe from the briny deep o' the gaming seas! Picture this: a jolly crew of salty seadogs, eager as barnacles on a ship's hull, awaitin’ the arrival of a mighty treasure known as a “patch.” Aye, not just any ol’ patch, but the kind that be fixin’ all that be broken and addin' new adventures fit fer a captain! But alas, what doth they receive? Only a whiff o' disappointment!

“Wake me up when a real patch drops,” they cry, throwin’ their hats to the wind like a parrot gone mad! Can ye imagine? The crew be dreamin’ of glorious updates, but instead, they be tossed naught but a measly crumb, like a scallywag with a treacherous map leadin’ to naught but a pile o’ seaweed! “What kind o’ joke be this?” they bellow, as they swab the decks with their tears, hopin’ fer the day when the winds blow fair, and the patch be worthy o' their time!

So, raise yer tankards high, me mateys! Here’s to the day when the seas bring forth a bounteous patch, one that sings like mermaids and shimmers like gold! Until then, we be snoozin’ like ol’ sea turtles, waitin’ fer the day when we be roused by the sweet, sweet sound of true patch glory! Arrr!

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