The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! Mehmet Oz be takin' the helm o' the Medicare ship, savvy? Hope he don’t sink it!

2024-11-19

Arrr, mateys! The captain-elect, Trump, be settin’ sail with the TV scallywag, Dr. Oz, to steer the health ship! "The seas be stormy, but this here doc’s got the skills to hoist our sails and banish the curse of chronic ailments!" So says Trump, with a hearty laugh!

Avast, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn of the curious happenings in the land o' the free! The new captain of the ship known as America, President-elect Donald Trump, hath summoned a notorious figure from the seas of television—none other than the good doctor, Mehmet Oz, to steer the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services!

“Aye, we be in the midst of a mighty Healthcare Crisis!” trumpeted the captain. “But fear not, for Dr. Oz be the finest healer to don the tricorn hat and lead us to health! He shall rally the crew alongside the infamous Robert F. Kennedy Jr., setting their sights on the treacherous illness industrial complex and all them pesky chronic diseases!”

With a wink and a nod, Trump be likin' to jest that this here doctor, who once dazzled the masses on the box of flickering pictures, shall bring forth his magic potions and wise remedies to save the day! Hoist the sails, for the good ship Healthcare be ready to embark on a jolly quest to cure what ails ye! Let’s hope this crew can navigate them choppy waters of wellness and bring forth a bountiful harvest of health for all ye landlubbers out there!

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