"Arrr! Gaetz be doin' a grand ol' pirouette, turnin' tail from the Attorney General ship, savvy?"
2024-11-21
"Arrr, matey! Though the winds be blowin' fierce, it seems me good name be causin' more ruckus than a cannon blast, distractin' from the fine work o' the Trump/Vance crew. Aye, 'tis a right pickle, it be!"
Avast, me hearties! Gather 'round, fer I’ve a tale of a scallywag named Matt Gaetz, once a representative from the sunny shores of Florida, who, summon the devil, found himself in a tempest o’ trouble! Aye, the lad was handpicked by the great Captain Trump to be the top prosecutor o' the realm, but alas, the winds blew foul with whispers o' his dalliance with underage wenches! Arrr!On a fateful Thursday, Gaetz proclaimed, “Nay, I shan't be the source of distraction fer me captain’s noble quest!” He claimed that his confirmation was stirrin’ up too much ruckus amidst the Trump/Vance Transition crew. “There be no time to waste on a scuffle fit for landlubbers,” he bellowed, “so I be withdrawin' me name from the list o’ contenders fer Attorney General!”
The lad felt it was more prudent to let the ship sail smoothly on Day 1, without the clouds o’ scandal hangin' over the deck. So, with a hearty swig o' rum, he walked the plank o' nomination, leavin' the crew to find another matey for the post. Aye, this be a tale worth watchin’, so keep yer spyglass ready fer more updates, savvy?