"Arrr! Two-and-four landlubber attorneys be tellin' the high court to shoo away scallywags from lasses' games!"
2024-11-23
Avast, me hearties! A crew of 24 legal swashbucklers be petitionin' the Supreme Court to toss out a landlubber's ruling, seekin' to keep the lassies' games free from the scallywags who be born lads! Aye, the tides o' sport be a-changin'! Arrr!
Yarr, this hullabaloo comes after some federal court declared that the law be likely violatin' the sacred Equal Protection Clause. South Carolina's own legal captain, Alan Wilson, proclaims it’s but common sense to keep the seas of sports fair, protectin’ the fair maidens from bein' bested by strappin' lads who fancy themselves as lasses.
With a mighty crew from Alabama to Wyoming, these attorneys be raisin' flags in support of similar laws across their territories. They argue that the Constitution doesn’t ban states from havin' separate ships, err, I mean teams for men and women. They be claimin' that lettin’ biological boys into the girls’ arena be givin’ an unfair advantage, like lettin' a sea serpent in a fishing contest!
The attorneys be callin' for the high court to chart a clear course: protectin’ the lasses' rights to fair competition, lest they be swamped by stronger foes. Yarrr, let the games be fair, or walk the plank!