"Arrr! The Defense Captain be steer'n plea deals fer war mischiefs, savvy? A right merry hullabaloo, that be!"
2024-11-29
Arrr, mateys! Defense Secretary Lloyd J. Austin III be takin’ away the power o’ his trusty matey to strike deals, writin’ it down in a secret scroll on Monday. The scallywags at the Pentagon be keepin' it under wraps, like a treasure map that’s lost at sea!
Arrr, mateys! Gather 'round, for I bring ye news from the high seas of bureaucratic waters! It seems our grand ship, the Pentagon, be makin’ waves with a memo straight from the desk of the goodly Defense Secretary, Lloyd J. Austin III. Aye, on a fine Monday mornin’, he declared the appointed one to be stripped o’ their power to grant plea deals—like a pirate takin' away a landlubber’s rum!Now, the details be as murky as a foggy night on the ocean, as this missive has yet to be revealed to the scallywags of the press. One might imagine the appointed one sittin’ in their quarters, scratchin’ their head, wonderin’ if they’ve been sent to Davy Jones' locker for their misdeeds! Arrr, what a hullabaloo it must be in the hallowed halls of the Pentagon!
It seems ol’ Austin be keepin’ a keen eye on his crew, ensuring that no one gets too cozy with the idea of lettin’ pirates off the hook for their swashbucklin’ ways. So, let it be known across the seven seas: in the world o’ defense, the captain of the ship won’t be lettin’ any scallywags sail under the Jolly Roger of easy deals! Yarr, it be a fine day for fair winds and firm discipline!