Arrr, a Massachusetts scallywag be killin' his old matey, 80, fer bein’ too snug with the feast o' thanks!
2024-12-01
Arrr! A scallywag from Massachusetts be accused of sendin’ his ancient mate to Davy Jones’ locker fer sneezin’ too near his Thanksgiving grub! The old sea dog be 80 years wise, but alas, too near the feast be his fatal folly! Avast, the dangers of a hearty sneeze!
Arrr mateys, gather 'round fer a tale o’ woe from the seas of Massachusetts! A scallywag by the name o’ Richard Lombardi, aged 65, found himself in a pickle sharper than a cutlass on Thanksgiving Day. Twas a day meant fer feasting, yet this landlubber turned his galley into a battlefield over a most peculiar matter: his aged matey, Frank Griswold, was standin' “too close” to the grub! 'Twas claimed by Lombardi that his matey sneezed like a cannon blast, and he feared fer the safety o’ his turkey!What came next be a right tragedy! In a fit o' rage, Lombardi sent the 80-year-old Griswold tumblin’ to the deck where he met a most unfortunate fate, breakin’ his neck like a fine porcelain jug! The foul deed led to charges of involuntary manslaughter and assault, and a court trial set to unfold on the horizon. Lombardi swore it was an accident, claimin’ he just wanted to protect his feast from a sneeze tsunami.
Now, with his next court appearance loom'n like a stormy tide, Lombardi be awaitin’ his fate behind bars, left to ponder how a simple dinner turned into a tale fit for the likes of Davy Jones. So raise yer mugs, ye landlubbers, and let this be a lesson: keep yer mates at a safe distance from the grub, lest ye find yerself in a right pickle! Yarrr!