Arrr! Mayor Adams be defendin' Daniel Penny 'gainst the scallywags o' the press over poor Jordan Neely's fate!
2024-12-03
Arrr, Captain Eric Adams be chattin’ on the airwaves 'bout the scallywag Daniel Penny, a sea dog accused o’ sendin’ Jordan Neely to Davy Jones’ locker! Aye, what a hullabaloo in the city, eh? Heave ho, me hearties, let’s see how this tale be turnin’!
Avast ye landlubbers! Gather 'round, for I be spinnin’ a yarn of a scallywag named Daniel Penny, a young sea dog who found himself in a bit of a pickle down in the depths of New York’s rum-soaked subways. This lad, all of 26 years, be facing the noose for a tussle that led to the unfortunate demise of one Jordan Neely, a chap with a history of mischief and a penchant for verbal threats. As he hopped onto the train like a mad sea captain, he threatened to send his shipmates to Davy Jones’ locker!Now, our Mayor Eric Adams, that cunning captain of the city, be defending young Penny, claimin' he did what any brave sailor would do when faced with a raging beast. The poor soul Neely, known for being more trouble than a barrel of monkeys, ended up choked out like a fish caught in a net. But the Mayor, he be scoldin' the city’s mental health system, callin' it a shipwreck! “Blame the government fer not bein' there!” he exclaimed, while the prosecutors claimed young Penny saw Neely not as a man but as a pesky pest to be squished.
So, as jurors weigh the fate of our hapless Daniel, let’s hope they see through the fog of confusion and give a hearty cheer for justice on the high seas… or, er, subways!