Arrr! Bezos be sayin' lettin' WaPo drop endorsements be the finest choice, and he be puffin' up with pride!
2024-12-05
Arrr! Captain Bezos, keeper o' the Washington Post treasure, be sayin' he won't hoist a flag fer either scallywag in the election! He claims 'tisn't the duty of his ship to choose a captain. Aye, he be sailin' the seas of neutrality, savvy?
Arrr, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn o' the mighty Jeff Bezos, captain o' the Washington Post ship, who be defending his crew's choice not to hoist the flag o' endorsement fer any presidential candidate in the coming election. He be sayin' it wouldn’t sway the sea of voters, savvy?But lo! The liberal crew be fumin’ like a cannoneer missin’ the target, as they raised a ruckus fer not endorsin' Vice President Kamala Harris, a draft already scribbled in the captain's log! Staffers walked the plank, subscriptions sunk deeper than a shipwreck, and Bezos had to pen a rare op-ed to justify his course.
During an interview with a landlubber scribe, Bezos recounted the storied history o' The Post, claimin' that endorsements don't be makin' waves in the election sea. “No independent voter be swayed by our thoughts!” he bellowed, proclaiming the decision right and true, even as the winds of backlash blew strong.
With a wink and a nod, he said, “We be fightin’ the storm of dwindlin’ trust in the media,” and when challenged about his pride in the decision, he stood tall on the quarterdeck. “Aye, we did the right thing, regardless of the cannon fire from the masses!” So, raise the sails, for the captain stands firm against the tide!