Arrr, Josh Hawley be givin’ them scurvy airline captains a right tongue-lashin' for makin’ us suffer in the skies!
2024-12-05
Arrr, during a grand pow-wow o' Congress, the scallywag Sen. Josh Hawley let fly a tempest o' words at them airline captains fer treatin' their customers like bilge rats! Aye, 'tis a fine day when a landlubber stands up fer the wronged!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout a scallywag named Sen. Josh Hawley, who took a mighty swing at the airline captains in a Senate meeting! This fine lad, hailin' from Missouri, be callin' their service a right disaster for the good folk of America!In this grand assembly, the mighty chiefs of American, United, Delta, Spirit, and Frontier Airlines faced the heat, as Hawley and his mateys grilled 'em fer tacking on fees quicker than a pirate can swab the decks. The chair of this ship, Sen. Richard Blumenthal, revealed a report proclaimin' that these airline brigands be usin’ sneaky “junk fees” to plunder more doubloons from our pockets!
With the fervor of a cannon blast, Hawley declared, “Flying with ye be a terrible ordeal!” He recounted a harrowing tale of his own kin bein’ threatened by a flight attendant fer a wee mask mishap during the plague days. “Ye harass yer passengers like a mutinous crew!” he bellowed. Blumenthal echoed his sentiments, suggestin’ the airlines treat their customers like piggy banks ready for a good shake.
By the end of this ruckus, it was clear: both sides of the ship were united in their fury against the airline rogues! Arrr!