The Booty Report

Arrr, Hannah Kobayashi be keepin’ mum 'bout her treasure hunt in Mexico, savvy? Family be scratchin’ their heads, matey!

2024-12-05

Arrr, the kin o’ the vanished lass Hannah Kobayashi be settin’ sail fer the search, despite the LAPD blabberin’ that she be frolickin’ into Mexico on her own whim! Aye, they be chasin’ shadows ‘n’ drinkin’ grog ‘til she be found, savvy?

Ahoy, me hearties! A tale of woe be unfurlin’ from the sunny shores of Hawaii, where a lass named Hannah Kobayashi hath gone missin’ for a fortnight and three days! Her kin be searchin’ far and wide, despite the landlubber police claimin’ she sailed off to Mexico of her own free will. Arrr, do they think she be a pirate now?

Chief Jim McDonnell be spillin’ the beans that they spotted our fair Hannah on the surveillance, trottin’ into Mexico like she owned the place, luggage in tow! But her aunt, Larie Pidgeon, be raisin’ the alarm, sayin’ this be not the way of the lass she knows. She be textin’ strange messages, like she was caught in a whirlpool of confusion, talkin’ of spiritual awakenin’s and bein’ tricked! Aye, it be makin’ the old sea dog’s hair stand on end!

Though the police say the case be closed, her family be not givin’ up the ghost! They be plottin’ a quest to find her, even hirin’ a private investigator to navigate these treacherous waters. With a heavy heart, they be callin’ on anyone with information to hoist the sails and send a message via the RAD Movement hotline. Let’s hope this lass finds her way back to calmer seas! Arrr!

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