The Booty Report

Ahoy! A landlubber lawmaker be offerin’ a grand doubloon fer every scallywag who rats out them illegal sea urchins!

2024-12-08

Arrr matey! A landlubber lawmaker from Missouri be hatin' on them scallywags, suggestin' a bounty o' a grand doubloons fer any good soul who snitches on them illegal sea dogs! A fine way to fill yer coffers, but ye best be watchin' yer back, lest ye be the next target!

Ahoy, ye scallywags! Gather 'round fer a tale from the landlubber shores of Missouri, where a cunning lawmaker by the name of David Gregory be schemin’ to fill yer pockets with gold doubloons! Aye, he be proposin’ a bill that doth offer a bounty of a grand ol' $1,000 to any hearty matey who turns in a wayward illegal migrant to the authorities. Aye, the catch be that the scallywag must be caught and arrested for ye to collect yer loot!

But that be not all, mateys! This crafty bill, known as SB 72, seeks to set up a whole treasure map of ways fer folks to report these land invaders, with a toll-free hotline, e-mail, and even an online portal! Ye could be sleuthin’ like a true pirate, reportin’ your finds from the comfort of yer ship!

Now, this be includin’ a peculiar program, the "Missouri Illegal Alien Certified Bounty Hunter Program." Only those with proper credentials, like bail bond agents, can don the bounty hunter’s hat, ready to chase down the scallywags. They aim to make it a felony fer anyone to be treadin’ on Missouri’s fair soil without permission!

As Captain Gregory proclaims, he aims to make Missouri a fierce battleground against illegal immigration, so grab yer spyglasses and prepare fer some high-seas adventure in the law’s name!

Read the Original Article