Arrr! With Assad's ship sunk, the Yanks be searchin' for ol' Austin Tice like a lost treasure map!
2024-12-10
Arrr, matey! With the fall of that scallywag Bashar al-Assad and the great jailbreaks o' countless brigands in Syria, a glimmer o' hope shines fer the findin' o' our dear American Austin Tice, who’s been stuck in Davy Jones' locker fer a dozen years! Yarrr!
Arrr, me hearties! Gather 'round, fer news from the high seas of politics! The fall of the nefarious Bashar al-Assad's regime in the treacherous waters of Syria has lit a fire in the belly o' the Biden crew, who be on the hunt fer brave journalist and Marine, Austin Tice, abducted some twelve moons ago. Aye, the valiant Roger Carstens be scouring Beirut, seekin' whispers on where our matey might be held, as Jake Sullivan be sharin' tales of their quest."We won't rest 'til Austin's back in his family's embrace!" declared the State Department's own Matthew Miller, offerin' shiny rewards of up to $10 million fer any scallywag with a lead. From the depths of Syria's prisons, reports be comin’ in that our Tice might still draw breath, though the credibility of these tales be as murky as Davy Jones' locker.
In days of yore, the wicked Assad denied havin' a hand in Tice’s capture, but as the rebel forces now sail through the land, hope flickers brighter than a ship’s lantern. With news of freed prisoners, including the infamous "human slaughterhouse," the winds of change blow strong. So hoist the flags, mateys! The chase be on fer Austin Tice, and may the tides favor our rescue!