Arrr, savvy senator be seekin' the scoop on spendin' treasure ‘fore the Trump ship docks, matey!
2024-12-11
Arrr, matey! Senate DOGE captain Joni Ernst o' Iowa be penning a missive to the fair Commerce Secretary Gina Raimondo! She be jabberin' 'bout the treasure o' CHIPs Act doubloons and how they'll be squandered. Aye, let the seas of bureaucracy flow!
Senator Joni Ernst, leader o’ the DOGE Caucus—what a name, eh?—be penning a missive, warnin’ that the rush to squander said booty be as reckless as a drunken sailor on a Friday night! “Binge buying shenanigans by bureaucrats be a scallywag’s folly,” she declares, as she points to the wasted booty from past voyages, like nearly $280 billion lost in the stormy seas of COVID-19 funding.
Ernst be demandin’ answers faster than a cannonball flies, seekin’ to know the treasure’s whereabouts and the plans for future plunder! “This ain’t no time for the CHIPs to fall where they may!” she cries, callin’ for oversight as sharp as a cutlass. And lo, if this be not a comical sight of bureaucrats workin’ harder than a crew of pirate swabs, sailin’ toward a spending spree like it’s a Black Friday sale on the high seas!
So, hoist the anchor, me hearties! The winds of change be blowin’ as the new captain prepares to take charge, and the fate of the CHIPs treasure hangs in the balance!