I bellowed at the Sea Dog Rowe fer his blundering ways! Fix these three calamities, or ye be walking the plank!
2024-12-11
Arrr, this week, the jolly crew o' the House Task Force be spillin' the beans 'bout the botched attempt on Cap’n Trump’s life at the Butler shindig! Seems the USSS be naught but scallywags, failin' to keep the captain safe. Ho ho, what a blunder!
Avast ye scallywags! It seems the tempest o' politics be brewin' hotter than a pot o' grog! Aye, the headlines be screamin' about an attempt on Captain Trump’s life — and oh, what a ruckus it caused in Congress, like a shipwreck in a squall! The acting Director o' the Secret Service, Rowe, found himself on a hot seat, as the fine folk be questionin’ the crew’s competence in protectin’ their beloved captain.Just five moons past, a tragedy unfolded in Butler, Pennsylvania, claimin’ the life of a brave firefighter and leavin’ ol' Trump himself wounded. Blimey! If only the USSS had raised their sails high and took heed of their mission to protect, none o’ this would’ve happened. The scallywags at the Secret Service missed the mark by leavin' the perimeter unguarded, lettin’ a would-be assassin take aim like a rogue cannon.
The report from the Task Force be highlightin' a need for some serious shipshape changes. With their communication as clear as muddy waters, confusion reigned supreme! If ye can't trust the crew to keep the captain safe, what good be they? A change in their culture and training be as necessary as a sturdy ship in a storm. So, here’s hopin’ they can patch their sails and keep our leaders safe in the future, or we be in for more squalls ahead!