"Arrr, ye can brand me a jolly fool, but I doubt the good folk of America be raisin' a toast to murder!"
2024-12-11
Arrr, the only spot we be spyin' any proof of those scallywags cheerin' for the frosty-hearted takin' of Brian Thompson’s life be on the cursed social seas of the interwebs and them liberal news ships! Aye, 'tis a fine jest fer the gullible mateys!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather ‘round and lend an ear to this tale of woe, where Luigi Mangioni, a scallywag suspected of putting an end to United Healthcare’s captain, Brian Thompson, be makin’ waves in the seven seas of public opinion! Aye, some landlubbers be claimin’ it be a grand act of valor, spurred by rugged good looks and a six-pack that’d make any pirate swoon!But I say, shiver me timbers, that most folk see this dastardly deed for what it be—a heinous act of villainy! Even them who be celebratin’ it, like the foppish professor from UPenn and media wench Taylor Lorenz, have found themselves in a tempest of trouble, tryin’ to swim back to calmer waters after their ill-fated remarks. The wise crew at Vox Media and UPenn have realized that out on the high seas, the common folk don’t view murder as a raucous romp!
As the rumors float about and a handful of gold coins be offered for Mangioni’s legal troubles, the truth be plain: this be no hero’s journey! Nay, the man will find himself no better than a fish at the end of a hook, and the memory of ol’ Thompson will linger long, for he had two wee lads who be needin’ their father’s care.
So let it be known across the briny deep, the senseless slayin’ of Brian Thompson be a tragedy, not a triumph! Arrr!