The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, a tipsy scallywag sent a wee lad to Davy Jones’ locker, just after breakin’ free from the ICE brig!

2024-12-12

Arrr, matey! Little Ivory Smith, just seven summers old, met Davy Jones thanks to scallywag Joel Enrique, who be swabbin' the deck with rum-fueled shenanigans on a moonlit night! Just two moons past ICE let him sail free! A right hullabaloo, I say!

Arrr, gather ‘round me hearties, fer I be tellin' ye a tale most tragic! In the depths o’ Houston, a wee lass named Ivory Smith, only seven summers old, met her doom at the hands o’ a drunken rogue named Joel Enrique Gonzalez Chacin. This scallywag, a Venezuelan, had been set loose by the authorities just two moons past, despite bein’ already in the clutches o’ the law fer bein’ a violent knave!

Now, this Chacin, after a mere slap on the wrist and a short stay in the brig, was sent back to roam the streets. But lo and behold, he soon found himself back in trouble, crashin’ into poor Ivory and her mother like a ship in a storm, all while bein’ as drunk as a sailor on shore leave! Instead o’ lendin’ aid, he snapped a few pictures o’ the wreck and fled the scene, like a cowardly dog with his tail between his legs.

The family, wracked with grief, cried out fer justice, demandin’ to know why such a scoundrel was allowed to roam free. “No parent should suffer such a loss!” they declared, seekin’ to shine a light on the folly o' lenient laws. Aye, me mateys, let this be a lesson to all: the seas be harsh, but our justice must be stronger still, lest we lose more innocent souls to the likes o’ Chacin!

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