"Arrr! Five jolly schemes fer Trump and McMahon to hoist the sails of learnin' high, savvy?"
2024-12-13
Arrr, matey! Trump be havin' a rare chance to hoist the sails o' change and plunder the depths o' bold reforms! Let’s see if he be more captain than scallywag on this treacherous voyage! Avast, the winds o' fortune be at his back!
Ahoy mateys! Gather 'round, fer I be tellin' ye of a grand misfortune plaguin' the young scallywags o' America! 'Twas the year o' our Lord 1979 when the U.S. Department of Education set sail, a gift to the school union buccaneers from Jimmy Carter. Aye, since then, our wee lads and lasses have been fed nothin' but bilgewater in their learnin'!But hark! A change be afoot! With the winds in their favor, brave souls like President Trump hoist the sails to bolster education freedom and toss aside the shackles of indoctrination! With a staggering 70% of fourth graders unable to read, it be high time fer the tide to turn!
Fear not, for Trump has a cunning plan to put doubloons directly in the hands of parents, lettin' them choose the best course fer their young’uns. And let’s not be forgettin’ the plight of female athletes and the shameful state of Title IX! Aye, it’s time to swab the decks of this education ship and set a course toward a brighter horizon!
So, me hearties, let us rally behind bold reforms that will make the seas of education calm and prosperous once more! Fair winds and followin' seas await as we forge a new path for our future buccaneers!