Arrr, me hearties! Fox News be spillin' tales o' the Golden Bachelor’s woes and Christina's blubberin' truths!
2024-12-14
Avast, mateys! The Fox News Scroll be servin' ye the freshest gossip from the glitterin' shores of Hollywood, where stars frolic and tales abound! Feast yer eyes on interviews with the fairest buccaneers of the silver screen and wild yarns from Los Angeles and afar! Arrr!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round fer the latest tales from the tumultuous seas of entertainment, as spun by the jolly crew of the Fox News Entertainment Newsletter!First up, we’ve got old Gerry Turner, the Golden Bachelor, who claims his ship sank after a stormy diagnosis o' cancer led to his fair lass Theresa hoistin' the sails and leavin' port. Aye, love's a tricky tide!
Then we find Christina Hall, shedin' tears like a sea shanty, tellin' her former sea dog Tarek El Moussa that the wee ones urged her to abandon her new swab, Josh Hall. Aye, the heart be a fickle wind!
Jana Kramer’s husband be a noble captain, swearin’ to keep his lass from film shootin' racy scenes like those in 'Yellowstone.' Aye, protectin' her honor like a trusty cannon!
Jim Carrey, that scallywag, emerges from his treasure chest of retirement, claimin' he needs doubloons. Meanwhile, Dick Van Dyke, at the ripe age of 98, be safely evacuated from a fiery tempest in Malibu. A true legend, he is!
So, hoist yer glasses, me hearties, and keep a weather eye on the horizon, for the seas of fame be as wild as the Kraken! Arrr!