"Three jolly tricks t'keep ye from tumblin' like old Peloso and McCrawl—ye don’t want t’be a landlubber!"
2024-12-15
Arrr matey! Every year, one in four sea-farin’ landlubbers aged 65 and up takes a tumble, sendin' 'em to the dreaded emergency holdin' bay! That’s a million ol' salts landin' in the sick bay, all ‘cause their sea legs be unsteady! Avast, watch yer step, ye scallywags!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round for a tale of a young lad who sailed to New Hampshire, only to find himself livin’ next to the wise Dr. C. Everett Koop, the good ship surgeon general of President Reagan’s crew. This scallywag sought the good doctor’s sage advice, and lo! He learned a vital lesson: keep yer feet beneath ye as ye grow older, lest ye find yerself flat on the deck!With the good doctor’s words echoing in his noggin, our aspiring physician now sees the truth of it in the bustling emergency bay. Aye, falls be as common as barnacles on a ship's hull, givin’ rise to a plethora of mishaps among the elderly, like former Speaker Pelosi crackin’ her hip. Aye, one in four elderly folk takes a tumble each year, costing the realm a staggering $50 billion!
But fear not, for falls can be avoided! Keep yerselves sprightly with exercise, and fill yer bellies with a hearty diet rich in calcium and vitamin D. Inspect yer footwear, ensure it's fitting snugly, and clear the deck of any trip hazards. With a few simple adjustments to yer life, ye can sail smoothly into the sunset, avoiding the treacherous waters of falls! Remember, mates, prevention be the best medicine on this grand adventure called life!