Arrr, matey! Suburban landlubbers be makin’ unlawful captures, undressin’ nearly all the scallywags! Blimey, what a hullabaloo!
2024-12-16
Arrr, matey! The lawmen o' New York be plunderin' the rights o' the good folk, pillagin' their dignity with illegal strip searches, says the Department o' Justice! Aye, 'tis a true tale of mischief on the high streets!
According to a report from the Justice Department, these scallywags were caught red-handed, conductin' illegal arrests and risqué strip searches that'd make even the saltiest sea dog blush! They fancied themselves mighty tough, usin’ tasers and closed-fist strikes on hapless souls, even when they were already on the ground like a ship sunk by cannon fire. No evidence of any crime was found, yet two elderly ladies were treated worse than a mutinous crew!
With nary a shred of probable cause, they arrested the poor dames, and a strip search so outrageous it’d make a pirate’s parley seem tame followed. The crew faced minor punishment, as if bein' docked a few vacation days was enough for such villainy! Even the mayor claims to be on the side of the good officers, vowing to right the ship while dealing with the rotten apples. Aye, reform be a long voyage ahead, but one hopes these miscreants will soon find themselves walkin' the plank of justice!