The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr! Five fibs Biden spun to shatter the border—Trump be the swashbuckler to mend it, savvy?"

2024-12-16

Arrr, matey! Cap’n Biden be captaining the ship o' illegal landlubbers faster than a cannonball! His crew be spoutin' tall tales to boot! But fear not, for savvy Trump be holdin' the map to mend this leaky border! Avast, let’s set sail for smoother seas!

Ahoy, mateys! Gather ‘round as I regale ye with tales of a mighty captain, President Joe Biden, who set sail on a grand experiment over the past four years. He flung open the gates of the U.S. border, lettin’ in more scallywags than a pirate ship on a treasure hunt!

This grand endeavor led to a tidal wave of folk—millions poured in, some evadin’ the watchful eyes of the Border Patrol like slippery eels! With the foreign-born crew now surpassin’ the olden days of the 1890s, the seas be choppy indeed!

The legacy media, those sneaky landlubbers, tried to shroud the truth like a foggy night, spinnin’ tales that open borders bring naught but fortune. But savvy sailors know the score! Congress had set a course for a mere 850,000 legal entries a year, while Biden turned the ship toward chaos.

With crime costs soaring, and the sense of safety plundered, the crew’s welfare was at stake. Those without skills be weighin’ the ship down, makin’ it harder for the rightful crew to thrive. But fear not! With a change in the winds and Tom Homan as our new captain, we may yet chart a course back to lawful seas!

So, hoist the sails, me hearties! It’s time to restore order to the waters and defend the treasures of American citizenship, lest we be lost at sea!

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