Arrr, Jelly Roll flung his contraption into the briny deep, claimin' it was too weighin' on his pirate heart!
2024-12-17
Arrr, matey! Jelly Roll from Nashville be spillin' the beans on Bunnie Xo's podcast, claimin' he tossed his cursed phone into the Cumberland's depths! Aye, he said it be a fine way to rid himself of the devil’s device! Avast, what a merry jest!
Arrr mateys! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn about a jolly sea shanty star named Jelly Roll, who be throwin' his cursed contraption—nay, not a cannonball—into the murky depths o' the Cumberland River! Aye, he be sayin’ farewell to the pesky stress o’ his phone, claimin’ it filled his head with a storm o' guilt from all them unanswered messages!On the podcast of his fair lady, Bunnie Xo, our hero declared he’d be goin' phone-less fer all of 2025. "Tossing me phone off the bridge be the true way to find me peace!" he exclaimed, likely with a hearty laugh. He pondered on how that blasted device be causin’ more trouble than a kraken in a treasure chest!
With a whimsical flip phone on the horizon, Jelly Roll aims to be a better man—a swashbucklin' husband, a father, and an artist! As he prepared to toss his phone, he cheekily declared his love and anticipated freedom from the shackles of technology. He dreams of bein’ on the cover of 'Men’s Health' by March of 2026, after losin' over a hundred pounds while battle with food addiction. Aye, a transformation fit for a captain! So raise a tankard to Jelly Roll and his quest fer a simpler, happier life on the high seas of humanity!