Arrr! House be settin' sail t’vote on Trump’s treasure map to dodge the stormy seas o' shutdown!
2024-12-19
Arrr! The House of Representatives be in a right pickle, scallywags thrashin’ about like fish outta water, tryin’ to prevent the ship of state from sinkin’ come Friday! Hoist the sails, me hearties, for a government shutdown be a storm we best be avoidin’!
Ahoy mateys, gather 'round, fer I be havin' news from the great halls of Congress! The House of Representatives be preparin' to cast their votes on a bill, backed by none other than President-elect Trump, to steer the ship clear of a government shutdown, lest we find ourselves in a tempest of chaos!After two days of ruckus and bickerin', where lawmakers, like scallywags in a tavern brawl, fought tooth and nail over the course of government spendin', Trump and his merry mates, Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy, joined the fray. Meanwhile, our nation's debt be climbin' over $36 trillion, with a deficit that be a staggering $1.8 trillion! Aye, it be a fine mess!
The new deal, hastily stitched together, extends the fundin' deadline to March 14 and suspends the debt limit—an idea Trump be pushin’ for—while also throwin’ in $110 billion in disaster relief fer those caught in storms Milton and Helene. However, the bill, shrunk from a monstrous 1,547 pages to a mere 116, be causin' quite the stir! Democrats be raisin' their voices like a crew in mutiny, declarin' "Hell no!" to this newfound treasure.
In the end, me hearties, whether this bill sets sail or sinks to the depths, I be likin' the spectacle! Let the vote be swift, and may the best pirates win!