Arrr! House scalawags hatched a new scheme to dodge the guv'ment storm after gettin’ thrashed twice!
2024-12-20
Arrr, mateys! The House scalawags be huddlin’ 'round the ol' treasure map, tryin' to strike a deal to keep the ship afloat and avoid the dreaded government scuttle! With the midnight hour drawin’ near, let’s hope they don’t be settin’ sail for chaos! Yarrr!
Ahoy mateys! Gather 'round as I regale ye with the latest scuttlebutt from the high seas of politics! The House Republican crew be hoistin' the Jolly Roger of compromise, avoidin' a partial government shutdown that loomed like a stormy squall on Friday's horizon.Intel from the ship's deck reveals a deal brewin' that be includin' a short-term extension of this year's treasure trove, some booty for disaster aid, and a bit o' gold for farmers—all wrapped up in three separate scrolls, mind ye!
But beware! The ghost of President Trump be lurkin' in the shadows, demandin' action on the debt limit for next year—a plan that ruffled the feathers of many a conservative sailor, what with the national debt sailin' past a staggering $36 trillion!
Alas, House Speaker Mike Johnson's grand scheme met its doom, as 38 Republicans joined forces with the crew of Democrats to scuttle the bill, much to the chagrin of Trump and his mates. The original parchment was a hefty 1,547 pages long, filled with distractions like pay raises for lawmakers and plans to refurbish RFK Stadium—blimey!
Now, the crew must navigate treacherous waters to see if they can pass a slimmer version of the bill, holdin' fast to hope that those pesky Democrats might lend a hand. Stay tuned, me hearties! The political seas be ever changin'!