The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr, matey! Trump be callin’ upon Musk, ‘cause he’s the savvy sailor to steer America clear o' spendin’ storms!"

2024-12-20

Arrr, matey! Columnist David Marcus be sayin’ that Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy be doin’ what they was hired for—hurlin’ a monkey wrench into the House budget scallywags’ plans! Aye, chaos be their true treasure, savvy?

Arrr, mateys! Gather 'round as I regale ye with the tale of how the winds of political change be blowin’ strong in the land of the free! It be none other than President-elect Donald Trump, callin’ upon the likes of Elon Musk and Vivek Ramaswamy to lend a hand in settlin’ the great ship of state’s muddled accounts.

As Christmas approaches, the U.S. Congress be teeterin’ on the brink of a government shutdown, with Democrats clingin’ to their power like barnacles to a ship’s hull. 'Twas Musk who shone a light on the bloated treasures of government spendin’, causin’ the Democrats to whine, “We had a deal!” Aye, they did, a right outlandish one at that, filled to the brim with pork and censorship, a veritable shipwreck of a bill!

But lo! Just as they were about to cast their votes, Musk fired off missives quicker than a cannon blast, exposin’ the hidden treasures of congressional pay raises. The seas turned, and a more modest bill emerged, only for every Democrat to scuttle it, along with some stubborn Republicans who’d vote against life itself if it meant spendin’ a penny!

So, if the government be shut down come Saturday, it’ll be the Democrats’ greed that be to blame, not the scallywags of the GOP. For in this tempest, Trump and his crew be countin’ on a change that the voters be askin’ for, and only time will tell if this chaos leads to smoother sailin’ ahead!

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