"Matt Gaetz be findin’ mates in his old Floridian waters, hoistin’ jolly rogers of support, arrr!"
2024-12-23
Arrr, the scallywags of the Panhandle be sayin’ ol’ Gaetz did a fair job in the grand ol’ Congress before he sailed away! They be callin’ that report nothin’ but a bilge of partisanship, savvy? Aye, the tides of politics be a fickle sea, indeed!
Arrr, gather 'round me hearties and lend yer ears to this tale of the swashbucklin' lad, Mr. Gaetz! The scallywags of the Panhandle, a fine crew of Republicans, be raisin' their mugs in cheer fer their captain who sailed the turbulent seas of Congress afore he decided to jump ship last month.These brave buccaneers be singin' praises, claimin' that Mr. Gaetz had done goodly work, plundering treasure and fightin' the good fight for their cause. Aye, they be sayin’ he charted a course through the stormy waters of politics with a steady hand, keepin' the ship afloat whilst navigatin' the treacherous reefs of partisan squabbles.
But hark! There be a report floatin’ about like a ghost ship, and it be stirrin’ the waters! The Panhandle lads be cryin' foul, callin' it a dastardly partisan attack, meant to sink their good captain's reputation. 'Tis said that the report be more fishy than a barrel of salted herring, and these fine folk refuse to heed its siren call.
So raise yer tankards high, me maties, for Mr. Gaetz be a brave soul in the eyes of his crew, and they’ll defend him ‘gainst any stormy gossip that dares to cross their path!