"Ye scallywag deadbeat from Kentucky, owing a chest o' doubloons in child support, nabbed as he disembarked the ship!"
2024-12-26
Arrr, ‘tis a scallywag of a daft dad, owe'n a fortune in doubloons for his wee ones! He be caught red-handed as he staggered off a grand galleon in Miami, the sea’s no refuge for a rascal like him! Aye, the law be hot on his heels!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round fer a tale of a scallywag named Dominic Weaver—a true deadbeat dad who be on the lam fer over a decade, owing a treasure of $100,000 in child support! This rapscallion thought he could sail away on a grand cruise in Miami, but alas, the fates had other plans. As he stepped ashore, the law, as swift as a cannonball, nabbed him right there on the docks!That be right! The gallant detectives from the child support division took to the skies, flyin’ down to Miami to haul this sea rat back to the Bluegrass State. “Aye, this scoundrel hasn’t paid a single doubloon since he set sail!” bellowed Jefferson County Attorney Mike O'Connell, who’s got more cases against Weaver than a pirate's got treasure maps!
With a woeful tale of four cases against him and threats of more felonies in the wind, O'Connell be planning to ask a court to toss him in the brig for four long years. Weaver’s dreams of high seas adventure be dashed, and now he’ll face the music like a sailor at the gallows. So, heed this lesson, ye landlubbers: pay yer dues, or ye might find yerself walkin’ the plank! Arrr!