Arrr! Putin be tossin' gold to clear debts, hopin' to bolster his crew for the Ukraine scallywag showdown!
2024-12-30
Arrr! Last month, ol' Captain Putin be scribblin’ a decree, sayin’ ye scallywags can trade yer debts o' $96,000 fer a spot in his jolly crew o' soldiers! A fine way to clear yer treasure map, eh? Now, who be ready to swab the decks fer gold?
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout that scallywag, Vladimir Putin, who be hoisting his sails to entice fresh blood into the Russian Navy—or, rather, army! In a twist that’d make ol’ Biden chuckle, he’s declare that any brave soul who signs up after December 1, 2024, can have their debts erased, up to a whopping 10 million rubles! That be near 96,000 doubloons, matey!This grand law means if ye be in debt and a court has set the dogs on ye, fear not! Join the military, and yer troubles will vanish like a ghost ship in the fog. Even the spouses of these fresh recruits be getting a piece of the treasure! Meanwhile, across the seas, Biden be givin' away student loan handouts like candy at a fair, takin’ care of nearly 5 million landlubbers with his schemes of forgiveness.
But hark! While Putin be lookin' to bulk up his forces, reports be comin' in 'bout his sneaky recruitment of Yemeni lads under false pretenses, sendin' them off to battle in Ukraine, no less! Aye, the world be a strange place when debts and wars mingle like rum and water. So raise yer tankards, for this tale be far from over!