“Arrr, matey! Biden be bestowin’ the Medal of Insufferability on Liz Cheney, like a parrot on a plank!”
2025-01-03
Arrr, me hearties! Columnist David Marcus be sayin’ that President Biden handin’ a shiny medal to Liz Cheney be naught but a jolly ol’ sham! Aye, it be lookin’ like a treasure map drawn by a drunken sailor! Ho ho, the scallywags be at it again!
Ahoy mateys! Gather ‘round as I spin ye a yarn of folly from the land of politics! This week, the scallywag known as President Joe Biden took to the seas of absurdity, bestowin’ a shiny Presidential Citizens Medal upon none other than Liz Cheney, the former Wyoming House lass and notorious Trump hater. Aye, she co-chaired the House Select Committee on the January 6 ruckus, but let me tell ye, the whole affair was a grand flop, like a ship with no sails!Once upon a time, the American crew was promised a treasure trove of evidence against Captain Trump, but what did they find? A dry ol' sea sponge! The numbers be tellin’, before the grand spectacle, 42% blamed Trump for the riot, but after the show, that number fell to 38%! A right proper disappointment, wouldn’t ye say?
Now, Cheney, who once claimed the FBI’s actions were treasonous, turned into a fierce foe of Trump, but alas, her obsession cost her dearly—losin’ her primary by nearly 40 points! Instead of captaining her ship, she threw it all away for a bauble from a lame-duck president. So here’s to ye, Liz! Enjoy yer medal and consider a Netflix special, for the seas of power be closed to ye now! Arrr!