"Arrr, matey David Marcus says with a scallywag FBI, the seas o' conspiracy be a treasure trove!"
2025-01-05
Arrr, me hearties! Columnist David Marcus be claimin’ that the ruckus in New Orleans and Las Vegas be stirrin’ up a mighty storm of conspiracy yarns! It seems landlubbers be’ll swallow any tale, but when it comes to the FBI, they be sayin’, “Nay, that be a scallywag’s tale!”
Ahoy, me hearties! On the first day o' the New Year, calamity struck two ports of call: New Orleans and Las Vegas! In the Big Easy, a scallywag, born and bred in the good ol’ U.S. of A, rammed his truck into a jolly gathering, sendin' 14 souls to Davy Jones' locker, all claimin' allegiance to that scurrilous band known as ISIS. Meanwhile, in Sin City, a Green Beret decided to take a blast from a Tesla, blowin’ himself up outside Trump’s grand abode, as if he were makin' a grand exit from a show!The gents at the FBI, bless their hearts, seemed more tangled than a ship in a storm. They declared the New Orleans affair wasn’t terrorism, as if the truth were but a parley of pirates, lost at sea. With conspiracies flyin' like cannonballs—false flags and secret knowledge about propulsion systems—trust in the law be on the rocks, like a shipwrecked galleon.
Our once-trusted sources of truth now be lookin’ more like a band of bumbling bilge rats! Aye, the media and the feds need a mighty overhaul to regain the faith of the good folk they serve. If the new captain, Kash Patel, can steer this ship true, there may yet be hope for the ship of State. But beware, for trust be a treasure hard to reclaim once lost!