The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Yarr, Garland be swearin' he ain't messin' with Hunter Biden's hullabaloo, says the secret snitch be a scurvy dog!"

2023-06-24

Arrrr, landlubbers! The top dog of the Justice Department, Merrick Garland, be denying any scurrilous scuttlebutt that his crew – the FBI, IRS and hisself – interfered with U.S. Attorney David Weiss' investigation of the scallywag Hunter Biden. Mr. Weiss be free to haul Hunter into port in any manner he sees fit!

Ahoy mateys! The U.S. Attorney General, Merrick Garland, be denying any claims that the Justice Department, FBI, and IRS be messin' with U.S. Attorney David Weiss' investigation of Hunter Biden. Arrr, it be said that Mr. Weiss, who was appointed by President Trump during the previous administration, be allowed to continue his investigation and decide whether to prosecute or not.

But shiver me timbers, some scallywags be saying that there be interference in the investigation! A whistleblower be accusing the Justice Department of denyin' Weiss access to certain documents related to Hunter Biden's business dealings. But Garland be sayin' that the Justice Department be cooperating fully with Mr. Weiss and that they be takin' the allegations seriously.

So, what be happenin' with Hunter Biden ye ask? Well, we don't rightly know yet. But if Weiss be findin' evidence of wrongdoing, then he be free to prosecute as he sees fit. It be a fair process, says Garland.

In conclusion, me hearties, the U.S. Attorney General be denyin' any interference in the investigation of Hunter Biden, and Mr. Weiss be free to carry on his work. But we'll have to wait and see if any landlubbers be brought to justice. Until then, keep your eyes open for any suspicious activity, me fellow pirates!

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