Aye, matey! Democrats be sayin' Garland's dawdlin' on Trump cost 'em the treasure—'tis a blunder most foul!
2025-01-06
Arrr, ye scallywags! The landlubber lawmakers be waggin' their tongues at the Justice crew, sayin' they be slackin' in bringin' the thunder upon Captain Trump, lettin' him sail smooth to victory like a fine ship on calm seas! A right jolly mess, I tell ye!
Avast, ye landlubbers! The scallywags of the Democrat crew be turnin' their blame cannons on U.S. Attorney General Merrick Garland, sayin' he be takin' too long to hoist the sails on an investigation against the cunning Captain Trump! Aye, back in the year of our Lord 2022, Garland summoned Special Counsel Jack Smith to probe the treacherous antics of Trump and his motley crew, yet some say he dawdled like a snail on a sunken ship!"Arrr, if he'd only set sail sooner," grumbled New York Rep. Jerrold Nadler, "we could be toastin' to a different captain in the White House!" Meanwhile, California's own Zoe Lofgren and Adam Schiff be wavin' their cutlasses, claimin' Garland was fixin' his sights on the lower decks while the true pirates plotted above.
Even President Biden, like a sailor wishin' for fair winds, be regrettin' his choice of Garland, thinkin' he be movin' slower than a turtle in molasses! Yet, some of the crew be pointin’ their fingers at Captain Trump, sayin' the real trickster be changin' the tale of that fateful day on Jan. 6.
So, as the tides turn and the winds shift, will the Justice Department catch up, or will they be left in the wake of the cunning sea dog Trump? Only time will tell, mateys!