The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! The Wagner captain claims he be tellin' his Russki mateys to turn tail from Moskva and head back to Ukraine!

2023-06-24

Arrr, mates! The cap'n of the Russian swashbucklers, Wagner, be sayin' they won't be stormin' Moscow. Instead, they'll be headin' back to their fields in Ukraine to avoid spilling any Russian blood. This be calmin' down a big ol' crisis fer President Putin. Moscow can rest easy fer now!

Avast ye, mateys! The captain of the Russian private military force, Wagner, be sayin' that he's ordered his crew to turn tail and retreat to their camps in Ukraine. Why, ye ask? To avoid spillin' the blood of their fellow Russians. Aye, 'tis true! This move seems to have calmed the tides of a right nasty crisis that could have been the biggest challenge to President Putin's power in all his time at the helm.

Aye, the good folk of Moscow had been waitin' with bated breath for this private army to arrive and cause all manner of chaos. But now it seems that the storm clouds be dissipatin' and the waters be calm once more. The captain, Yevgeny Prigozhin, be a clever one indeed to avoid such a bloody conflict. It be no secret that Putin's power be absolute and he don't take kindly to any challengers, especially not from his own folk.

So, let's raise a glass to the wisdom of the captain and hope that the seas stay calm. But mark me words, mateys, there be always another storm on the horizon in these turbulent times. Keep yer wits about ye and stay safe out there. Arrr!

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