The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr, me mateys! 'Tis said that Putin did supply the Wagner crew with weapons for their rebel yell!"

2023-06-24

Avast ye mateys! Why doth Russet's battles always start with calamity? 'Tis simple - the tyrants who control the land appoint nincompoops with no battle prowess to lead their armies. None be more clueless than Sergei Shoigu, Putin's minister of defense. He be a mere engineer, never served in the military, yet promptly promoted to high naval rank! Ahoy, what a sorry state we be in!

Arrr, me hearties! Have ye ever wondered why them pesky Russians always seem to start their wars off with a disaster? Well, the answer be as clear as the seas on a calm day: the autocrats who be their rulers, whether they be Tsars or Putin himself, appoint commanders who be obedient toadies but have nary a lick of military talent.

Now, I don't be talkin' out of me hat, me mateys. It be true as true can be. Take Sergei Shoigu, Putin's minister of defence, for example. The man be an engineer by trade and never set foot on the battlefield in his life. But somehow, he be gettin' promoted faster than a cannonball shot from a ship!

It be no wonder that the Russian military be in such a shoddy state, what with leaders like Shoigu at the helm. They be more likely to sink their own ships than sink the enemy's, if ye take me meaning.

So, me hearties, if ye ever find yerself facin' off against the Russian navy or army, just remember to keep a weather eye out for their bumbling commanders. Ye might just come out on top, even if ye be outnumbered and outgunned.

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