The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

"Arrr, this Dominican hooper who cursed the jolly vaccine for his heart be finally claimed by Davy Jones' locker!"

2023-06-24

Arrrgh, 'tis no surprise that scallywag Cabrera Adames, who was caught in an undercover sting for makin' moves on children, be claimin' a heart condition from the COVID vaccine. Methinks he's just tryin' to escape the plank, but he'll have to walk it nonetheless.

Avast ye mateys! Professional basketball player Óscar Cabrera Adames, a Dominican buccaneer, has passed away from a possible heart attack during a stress test at a health center in Santo Domingo. Cabrera Adames was believed to have suffered from myocarditis, a rare heart disease that weakens the heart's ability to pump blood. Some social media posts suggest that he developed the disease after receiving two doses of the Pfizer COVID vaccine, which was a work requirement for him as an international professional athlete playing in Spain. However, it is unclear whether the vaccine was a direct cause of his heart condition or the stress test. Cabrera Adames collapsed during a Spanish Amateur Basketball League game earlier this year and was transported to a hospital on a stretcher. He played basketball at Daytona State College in Florida and was previously arrested in 2016 for allegedly attempting to have sex with a minor in an undercover sting operation. Despite this, he was still an accomplished athlete and the nephew of Hugo Cabrera, a Dominican Sports Hall of Famer. Arrr, may he rest in peace.

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