The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr, CNN be spoutin' tales, but forgot to mention ol' sailor saved 22 lasses from the Afghan sea! Har har!

2025-01-10

Arrr, matey! In the grand court o’ jest, ol' sea dog Zachary Young, a brave sailor o’ the U.S. Navy, claimed he aided fair maidens to escape the clutches o’ Afghanistan, yet that scallywag CNN be turnin' a blind eye to his valiant deeds! A fine tale, indeed!

Ahoy mateys! Gather 'round fer a rollickin' tale from Panama City, where a brave sailor of the U.S. Navy, one Zachary Young, found himself in a raucous tussle with the scallywags of CNN! This fine lad be claimin' they cast him as a nefarious profiteer, pillagin’ the good folks of Afghanistan while helpin' 'em escape the clutches of the Taliban during the Biden administration’s chaotic retreat in 2021.

In a dramatic court spectacle, Young revealed he stealthily aided at least 22 damsels and even a wee babe to flee the war-torn land, all while CNN spun a yarn so twisted ye’d think it were a sailor’s tall tale! The sneaky blighters aired a tale 'bout Afghans bein’ trapped by black market fiends, but when it came to Young's heroic deeds, they left it out like a pirate's booty!

With a fine lawyer at his side, Young laid out the treasure trove of truth: he had rescued women for companies like Audible and Bloomberg, yet CNN chose to ignore his gallant endeavors. Now, Young be seekin’ to clear his name and reclaim his lost honor, for the media's slander be threatenin' his very livelihood! So, stay tuned, me hearties, as this court drama unfurls like a tattered sails in a tempest!

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