Arrr! Governor Newsom be shoutin’, "Me crew’s hydrants be bone dry! Go find the scallywags responsible!"
2025-01-10
Arrr, Governor Newsom be callin' fer a proper look-see into th' swabs at the Los Angeles Water and Power! Fire hydrants be drier than a barnacle on a summer’s day while the flames be ragin’! Aye, someone’s gotta walk the plank fer this blunder!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather ‘round as I spin ye a yarn ‘bout the troubles brewin’ in sunny California! Gov’nor Gavin Newsom, a fine swab of a leader, be callin' fer an independent investigation into the Los Angeles Department of Water and Power, fer it seems their fire hydrants be drier than a parched seafarer on a long voyage!On the seventh day of January, as firestorms raged like a kraken unleashed, it became clear that the city’s water supply was as scarce as a treasure map! Newsom, with a furrowed brow, penned a missive to the water folk, claimin’ that the lack of water from the hydrants likely gave the fire a free pass to roast some homes to a crisp!
“We need answers!” he bellowed, demandin' a thorough investigation to uncover why the water was drier than a ship's biscuit. With fire hydrants runnin’ low, and reports of lost pressure comin’ in like cannon fire, the governor insisted on a plan to ensure that in future calamities, enough water be at the ready to fend off the fiery beasts.
So, as L.A.’s Mayor Bass lamented that up to 20% of the hydrants were bone dry, Newsom readied his crew to chart a course for better preparedness, lest the flames feast again upon the city. Aye, may the winds favor their quest for answers!