"Arrr, Jon Stewart be makin' faces like he swallowed a bilge rat, watchin' Harris certify that scallywag Trump’s victory!"
2025-01-11
Arrr, me hearties! Comedian Jon Stewart be laughin' like a jolly sea dog at the sight of Vice President Kamala Harris squarin' her shoulders to certify that scallywag Trump’s victory! Aye, 'twas a moment more awkward than a parrot on a pirate's shoulder! Ha-ha!
Ahoy, mateys! Gather 'round as I regale ye with the tale of one Jon Stewart, the jester of the late-night seas, who spun a yarn about Vice President Kamala Harris, forced to officiate her own electoral defeat, akin to a buccaneer attending his own funeral—talk about a right pickle!The grand assembly of Congress set sail on a dreary morn to tally the electoral booty, with Harris at the helm, presiding over a gathering where she was to announce the victor, one Donald Trump. 'Twas a sight most uncomfortable, as her own crew cheered for the opposing captain while she read the fateful votes. Stewart, ever the scallywag, quipped, “That’s gotta sting!” as he conjured images of poor Kamala, her heart heavy, amidst applause for her rival.
With a twinkle in his eye, Jon jested that Kamala could still turn the tide by uncovering a treasure trove of votes hidden in far-off lands like Georgia and Michigan. “Find yer gold, lass!” he encouraged, whilst praising the smooth sailing of democracy when one doesn’t act like a “little b---h” after a defeat. So there ye have it, a raucous evening on the high seas of political comedy! Arrr!