The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arr, Tom Brady, aye, he be keepin' to a disciplined feast, even after he be retirin'!

2023-07-02

Arrr! Tom Brady be spoutin' in a recent parley that he be stickin' to the strictest of diets that kept him hearty throughout most of his career. But alas, the lad be settlin' down and retirin' this February. Yo ho ho, the seas be missin' his mighty throws!

In true 17th century pirate fashion, let's dive into the tale of Tom Brady. Avast! This seafaring quarterback may no longer be slingin' footballs, but his strict diet remains unchanged. Arrr!

Brady, who hung up his cleats after three seasons with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and a whopping two decades with the New England Patriots, be bringin' home seven Super Bowl championships. And let me tell ya, matey, he built a whole business around his diet. His shipshape regimen be known as the TB12 method, and it be as strict as Blackbeard himself!

This legendary quarterback be avoidin' white sugar, white flour, iodized salt, caffeine, nightshade vegetables, and even strawberries. Aye, he be makin' healthy choices to live the life he wants to live, says he. It ain't just a strict regimen, ye see, but a way of life. He be havin' so many healthy habits, he's stickin' with 'em.

Now that he be retired, Brady be spendin' his days with his little ones and his mateys Rob Gronkowski and Julian Edelman. But he be keepin' busy, too! He's expandin' his activewear line, Brady Brad, and makin' deals with college athletes. And, by the powers, he be investin' in a pickleball franchise!

Brady be sailin' off as one of the greatest NFL players of all time. He be the leader in passing yards and passing touchdowns, with a treasure chest full of 89,214 yards and 649 touchdowns. He plundered six Super Bowl championships with the Patriots and claimed another with the Buccaneers.

So, me hearties, as we bid farewell to this swashbucklin' quarterback, let us remember the legacy he leaves behind. Tom Brady, the pirate of the pigskin, may be retired, but his diet and his legend live on. Yo ho ho!

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