"Arrr, matey! Jonathan Turley be sayin' Jack Smith's Trump tale be lackin' a hearty explanation, savvy?"
2025-01-14
Arrr, me hearties! Toss aside the scrolls where Captain Jack Smith be battlin’ for the treasure of truth 'fore the great election of 2024! The report be nothin’ but old seaweed, save for one grand nugget of gold!
Ahoy, me hearties! Gather ‘round as I spin ye a yarn ‘bout Jack Smith’s midnight report that be as fresh as a barnacle on a ship’s hull! This here scroll be akin to a weathered map; we’ve seen it all before, savvy? Smith be strutting ‘bout how he could tame the wild beast known as Trump with naught but words and the whims of a D.C. jury, but mark me words, he’s blowin’ hot air!He chortles ‘bout Trump shoutin’ “fight” a dozen times, whilst glossing over the court’s latest slap-down of his grand schemes. It be true, the mighty Supreme Court did warn him that his sails were flappin’ in the wind with their decision in Fischer v. United States, and still, our dear Jack presses on, convinced he can shoehorn his way through Section 1512 like a fish through a net.
With nary a soul supporting his fanciful conjectures, Smith be lookin’ to take the law to the very brink, all whilst hopin’ to bag Trump like a prize parrot! But, as the winds of justice howl, it seems he’s bound for another stormy sea, where the currents of precedent may just wash him ashore. So hoist yer grog, me mateys, for this battle of wits be far from over!