Arrr, Liz Peek be sayin’ Biden be slappin’ lipstick on a swine o’ a presidency! Ye won't believe this jolly mess!
2025-01-15
Arrr, mateys! When Captain Biden donned the hat o’ leadership, the seas were calm and our foes, especially that scallywag Iran, were naught but a whisper in the wind! Aye, the world was a merry ship sailing smooth, 'til the storm clouds rolled in! Har har!
Ahoy mateys! It seems President Joe Biden, or perhaps one of his scallywag crew, be seein’ that the good folk of the land be not too impressed with his reign over the past four years. In a last-ditch effort to charm the masses, he be spoutin’ lofty tales of triumphs that be as fishy as a week-old catch.But alas! The more he tries to dress this pig of a presidency in fancy garb, the deeper he sinks into the depths of despair. His farewell address be a woeful saga, echoing the same bluster about defendin’ democracy whilst claimin’ the credit for a ceasefire he had little to do with. Blame it on the winds of Trump’s threats, if ye will!
Our captain boasted of “creatin’” jobs, but if ye ask the crew, they be thinkin’ it’s merely recoverin’ what was lost in the stormy seas of COVID. And as for crime bein’ at an all-time low—don’t be makin’ me laugh; that be as true as a mermaid's kiss!
Yet, with discontent swellin' like a tempest, the good folk be seein’ through his tall tales. Polls show more than half deem his voyage a failure, while he blames “dark money” and the looming “tech industrial complex.” It seems even the winds of change be blowin’ against him as he prepares to set sail on January 20th, with naught but a chorus of cheers from those who are ready to see the end of this captain’s tale!