The Booty Report

News and Updates for Swashbucklers Everywhere

Arrr! In the court o' scallywags, the bloke claims he be stripped of his spy badge, aye!

2025-01-16

Arrr, matey! Zachary Young be spillin' the beans, sayin' his security clearance be as lost as a ship in a storm! CNN be yappin' 'bout it like it means he can still find a job, but he be swabbin' the deck instead, ho ho!

Avast ye scallywags! Gather 'round as I spin ye a yarn 'bout a brave sailor named Zachary Young, a noble Navy veteran caught in a stormy squall o' defamation! This lad claims the cursed CNN be throwin' shade on his name, suggestin' he be a black-market profiteer, tradin' gold for the souls of desperate Afghans during the tumultuous Biden withdrawal in 2021. Aye, the lad's reputation be in tatters, and his business dryin' up like a ship marooned on a desert isle!

In the court o' law, Young learned from his cunning counsel, Vel Freedman, that he lost his precious security clearance—aye, the very key to unlockin' work in the defense trade—back in 2022! This news hit him like a cannonball to the gut, and the scallywags at CNN had the gall to suggest his clearance proved he was fibbin' about his job prospects post-slander. The courtroom banter grew fierce as Young declared, "No, I don’t" when asked if he still held that clearance!

In a twisted turn of fate, the judge held court as CNN’s crew tried to poke holes in Young's tale, but alas! He stood firm, lettin' no sea serpent sway his truths. As the trial journey nears its end, Young stands resolute, ready to reclaim his honor from the clutches of the treacherous media seas!

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